Seven rugby predictions for 2015

1. Sam Burgess makes his debut for England against Italy in the Six Nations – at scrum-half. England boss Stuart Lancaster explains: “Bath and England couldn’t decide whether we wanted to play him at 6 or 12 so we met each other half way.”
2. Gloucester win at home.
3. After seeing attendances rise three-fold since moving from High Wycombe to Coventry, Wasps decide to relocate again – to Darlington. “As we head further north we seem to be attracting bigger and bigger crowds,” says chief executive Nick Eastwood. “If things go well in Darlington we’re thinking to heading to Reykjavik."
4. Leicester boss Richard Cockerill announces he has had enough of rugby and is taking monastic vows; he will head to Italy to join an order of Trappist monks high up in the Appenines. He will brew ale and tend to the bees. He invites former Leicester prop, Toulon potty-mouth and hairstyle icon Martin Castrogiovanni to join him. “Castro and I can have it out over that beer that I mentioned,” he says in a final interview with the Leicester Mercury. “But we won’t be able to say anything to one another because of the vows – which is probably a good job.
5. Castrogiovanni is furious. “Cockers cannot leave it alone,” he tells the press in a fruity post-match monologue. “Look at these locks. They are things of beauty. Do you think I’d have them cut off just so I could join him in holy orders? He is what you call in English an **** ******* ***."
6. Dan Carter, Aaron Cruden and Beauden Barrett all go down with mysterious stomach gripes on the eve of the final of the 2015 Rugby World Cup. A call goes out to Stephen Donald, who is out fishing for rare shrimp in the Japanese Sea, nailing a few bevvies. Donald gets on the next flight to Heathrow and slots the decisive drop goal against England – overhead.
7. Dylan Hartley announces his conversion to Buddhism and a lifetime’s commitment to passive resistance.

Cipriani seeks return to Premiership rugby

It's looked likely for some time, and today it looks close to a dead cert: Danny Cipriani will be leaving the Melbourne Rebels soon.
A story I have broken today reveals that representatives of the unpredictable fly-half have contacted Bath Rugby with a view to returning to the English Premiership. Bath aren't particularly interested, stressing that Cipriani "is not top of their list", but it's clear that the gifted but troubled stand-off is looking for an exit from Australia, less than halfway through his two-year deal.
The thing is, with all his off-field shenanigans, who will touch him? Wasps director Lawrence Dallaglio has hinted that the London side would consider taking him back, but it would be a gamble. As Cipriani has proved in Melbourne, he can rub team-mates up the wrong way, and Wasps - who are in as fragile a state as they have ever been in the professional era - can't afford any more boat-rocking.
So, who is top of the list at Bath? Dan Carter was clearly the ultimate target, as the All Black admitted today. And with Morne Steyn ruling himself out, and with Berrick Barnes and Quade Cooper signing extended deals with the Australian Rugby Union, many of the prize inside backs of the modern game are now unavailable. But Carter's cover in the Kiwi squad, Stephen Donald, still appears to be undecided about his post-World Cup future. And given that all the signals are that Bath are after a player who will be involved in the RWC, Donald would appear to be very much in the mix.

Dan Carter, Quade Cooper or Barry John?

Watch the fly-half rumour mill spin at Bath Rugby